I SERIOUSLY HATE shopping for clothes!!!

Seriously, there's a definite reason, other than the fact that I'm broke most of the time, that I don't go shopping for clothes very often. In fact, it's probably been four or five years since I've even thought about looking for clothes. And there's a very good reason for it.

I will admit that I'm a large girl. Not absolutely freaking huge, but big enough that I can't just pop into any store and buy the first thing that I see. No, I am right over the edge into the women's sizes. And that's the problem.

For those of you who are lucky enough to still be the same Size 12 you were in high school, let me explain. Large women's clothing SUCKS. There's no getting around it. If I were to take you shopping with me, you would take one look and run screaming from the store (believe me, that's what I want to do).

Apparently the people who design for large women think we all fall into the following categories:

1. Large women LOVE "brightly" patterned clothing. Add weird color combinations, and that makes it even better. Pink, white, black, and orange are particularly popular mixtures.

2. Large women don't want tailored clothing. Big gunnysacks are fine, thank you.

3. Large women only wear sports clothes. There's no need for any kind of professional looking clothing. Knits, sweats, denim, and t-shirts are the only things large women need.

4. Large women don't want well-made clothing. They don't mind spending $100 on an outfit that will fall apart in less than six months.

5. Large women don't like dresses. Separates only, please, and they must all have bows and flowers and little pleated skirts. The only dresses large women want are pleated denim jumpers.

6. Large women are as tall as they are wide. Every pair of slacks and skirts must be at least 36 inches long.

7. Large women LOVE sequins and beads on everything.

8. Sweaters and blouses must be low cut enough to show off your "assets."

I could go on, but you get the idea. I went to three different places, and yes, I did get some clothes, but nothing that made me feel really really good when I put it on. I couldn't believe how LONG everything is. I used to like longer skirts, but this is ridiculous. One store had some pretty nice jacket and skirt pieces, but the skirts HIT THE FLOOR. Now, I know I'm not six foot tall, but I'm not four foot, either.

If you're really bored some evening and want some entertainment, take a stroll through some of the websites which sell large-sized clothing. You'll be amazed at what you see offered as "professional" clothing. Or as a coworker of mine said, "Maybe the profession they're aiming for is streetwalking." One company actually considers cotton-type A-line housedresses to be "professional" clothing.

I've always said that if I ever had a lot of money, I'd start a REAL clothing line for large-sized women, clothes that had style and were attractive and were well made. I used to make a lot of my clothes, and I really don't want to do that anymore, but I may have to in order to have decent, attractive clothing that makes me feel good.

You want to know why large women become depressed? IT'S BECAUSE THEY CAN'T FIND DECENT CLOTHING!!!